|Chapter No.||Part No.||Content of the Chapter|
|NA||NA||Introduction (Preface, Foreword, A Devotee Speaks and A Thought)|
|Chapter 1||Part 1||In Moments of Ecstasy|
|Chapter 1||Part 2||In Moments of Ecstasy|
|Chapter 1||Part 3||In Moments of Ecstasy|
|Chapter 1||Part 4||In Moments of Ecstasy|
|Chapter 2||Part 1||The Heart Overflows|
|Chapter 2||Part 2||The Heart Overflows|
|Chapter 2||Part 3||The Heart Overflows|
Sai spoke to me thus: “My child be not unhappy perceiving the world outside that which you look for and on not getting which you feel anguished. It wasn’t appropriate for you to receive. How could you have had it? If you have full faith that whatever is happening in your life – good or bad, feelings which you are carrying within you, my eye of concern is on all that. What I bestow on you is according to your needs. Then for all that too which is making you unhappy, I am only responsible. Why don’t you appreciate this truth and try to live in ‘Aatmanand’. My child! When you would have stopped diving into the ocean of desires, then only shall you be able to recognize your own self and then alone your surrender to me shall be complete. The devotees who surrender to me heart and soul, how can I allow them to remain in the lurch? Think over it deeply and become carefree. My hand of grace is always on your head. Live your life without any worries, your Sai is with you”.
When my ‘Aatma’ would have taken a dip in the ocean of Sai bliss, it would emerge pure, dazzling, ‘Sat-Chit-Aanand’, unaffected by the glitter of the world external – a complete whole. Fortunate are we, who have taken to the path of Sai bhakti. Let us keep treading on it firmly, fully determined to allow not the glamour encountered on the way to divert our attention.
Related: Scribblings of A Shirdi Sai Devotee
If I were your Chillum Sai Baba, if I were your chillum! I would have been touching your lips As also of all those who smoked with you Bhagoji Shinde, Tatya and others And experienced the divine pleasure of giving you all comfort. Would have been the witness of all That went on in the Dwarkamai. And one day would have found myself plastered On the west facing wall of the Masjid Mai Along with my sisters (Baba’s other chillums) Innumerable devotees would have touched us With heads bowed and feeling blessed We would have perpetually been experiencing The divine ‘Noor’ oozing out of the ceiling of Dwarkamai Feeling exalted on our good luck And one day some treacherous hands Would have broken us into pieces In an attempt To give Dwarkamai a new face And thrown the Malba (debris/waste) into the fields For us to cry on our ill luck And a day would have come When some devotee From lands afar In search of Sai - The Apostle of Compassion Recognizing our importance Would have lifted us all in his bag Taken us to his place And decorate us - the pieces, On the pedestal of his puja And worshipped us With heart and soul as a gift of yours And one day placed all pieces On the pedestal being built for the installation of your idol In a temple in that far off land Making us to experience nearness to you Forever, ever and ever
(Based on author’s own visit to Shirdi in the years 1960 and 1962 and coming up of Lodi Road Temple in New Delhi)
Sai sitting in my heart spoke to me thus: “Why do you feel that I am getting away from you? Can the mother ever ignore her child? My relationship with you extends from birth to birth. What you have been offering to me birth after birth; can I ever repay its debt? If I want your pure and flawless devotion, I shall also have to own you at every moment and at every step of life and living. It is another thing that you shall have to bear the fruits of your karmas of lives past. But my child! Have absolute faith that neither you can be away from me nor could I. I am yours and you are mine. The highs and lows of life shall continue to come and go but we shall always remain one for each other”.
I shall have to peep within myself and determine whether the thoughts which are spilling themselves over on paper, are the imagination of my mind or else an unseen power is making me to scribble these on paper? But one thing is certain that while blackening papers, the feeling of purity, the serenity of mind and the craving for Baba, these have generated in my heart, is enough for me to live in the present moments of my life and even the thought of my coming out of this state shall be unacceptable to me. I and my soul within are one and my Baba is in full command of them.
My whole life has been spent in begging something or the other from my Sai. My pockets have kept on bulging but life exhausting. And today, when I have reached almost at the end of my journey; peeping into my pockets, I find nothing worth-while which is worthy of taking along with me. In exasperation, I curse myself: It is now of no use crying when my time is up.
Baba! Your grace lay scattered all around me, the day I came into contact with your name in this life. But what to do with my own ignorance? The stones wrapped in brilliance which were lying on the path of your bhakti, I took them to be diamonds and kept on collecting them all my life but the diamonds wrapped in mud which in fact were full to the brim with your brilliance, taking them as stones I kept on discarding. And today when I have reached the end of the journey, the truth has dawned on me and it is too late to redeem the situation.
With age, my body might have decayed but in the shine of my ‘Aatma’, inits purity and in its cleanliness, there has been absolutely no decay. Then do I, this physical frame, and my aatma constitute separate identities? It is a thought to ponder over!
A person enquired of me, “What is it that makes you unhappy?” I replied, “I am unhappy for the reason that after coming in Baba’s ‘Sharan’, I have been left with no cause to feel unhappy. If I had, I could have experienced the grace of Baba more deeply”.
Baba since the day, I have caught hold of your hand, an unshakable quietude has become ingrained in my heart. I have a feeling that at every turning of life, you are with me and I need no other support. Due to my advancing age when I feel like falling down, a hand appears from somewhere lifts me up and hugs me. A feeling of absolute ease is discernible in every aspect of life and my existence seems to have acquired fullness and nothing appears lacking anywhere.
More poems and thoughts in coming part of the chapter
© Author – Late Shri. Suresh Chandra Gupta – Explicit Rights To Publish To Shirdi Sai Baba Books.com (Member of SaiYugNetwork.com)